Mission Status: FAILED
by nananine
Summary: -We should tail him individually...- Worst. Idea. Ever. When I get out of this closet, Naruto, I'm going to kill you. The story behind Sasuke's unsuccessful attempt to see under the mask. Mild Kakairu.


Rating: T for some language and very mild shounen ai of the Kakairu persuasion.

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Don't care to.

**Mission Status : FAILED**

_Don't you wanna see it? Kakashi-sensei's face?_

Of course I wanted to see it, idiot.

_Maybe he has...a pointy mouth._

That's doubtful.

_Or maybe...buck teeth?_

Even buck teeth wouldn't be worth all this.

_It could be...thick lips..._

Yeah, if this keeps up much longer. Ugh. Doesn't he need to breathe?

_We should tail him individually._

Worst. Idea. Ever. When I get out of this closet, Naruto, I'm going to kill you.

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"Thanks for your hard work today!" The mission room was finally clearing out, and Umino Iruka was relieved that the end of the day was in sight. Only a few stragglers stood between him and home. He looked down at the table. Two missions left to hand out. _I might actually leave on time today._.. Iruka glanced at his list. The only teams without assignments belonged to Gai and Kakashi. He suppressed a sigh. _Maybe I won't..._

Iruka was therefore quite shocked when, with a pop and a cloud of smoke, the aforementioned silver-haired ninja appeared in the room. The chuunin didn't even try to hide his stunned expression. "Kakashi-san?"

"Hmm?" The man replied, nonchalant.

"You're...on time."

Kakashi had the gall to look embarassed. "Yes, well... I had to lose someone quickly, and I figured this was the last place anyone would think to look for me..."

Iruka felt the beginnings of a twitch in his eye. "Most people don't make excuses for being on time!" he ground out between clenched teeth. The young teacher forced himself to relax, and picked up the two remaining scrolls. "You actually get a choice today, Kakashi-san. Dog-walker, or farmhand?"

The jounin thought for a moment, glancing around the room as he did so. There were now only three people left in the room. "Let Gai-sensei take the dogs. Naruto-kun got dragged through the mine field last time. I'll have him shovel manure or something."

Iruka wrinkled his nose at that. "Right. Well, this is yours," he said, passing the scroll to the other man. A flash of green made both of them turn to look at Gai.

"My Most Honored Rival," he began, as Kakashi raised an eyebrow expectantly. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking about your very formidable team, and I felt it my duty to inform you that young Sasuke-kun was sneaking around your apartment earlier this afternoon."

Kakashi let out a long-suffering sigh, but didn't look overly surprised. "Thanks. I'll take care of it." The chuunin teacher looked at him inquiringly, but was too polite to ask outright. Kakashi noticed this, and answered the unspoken question. "My team's been acting... different for the last few days." He shrugged. "They treated me to ramen, which is really strange in and of itself. But then they were very irrationally angry after I had finished eating."

Iruka nodded thoughtfully. "So is that who you were just running away from?"

"Ahaha...yes," the jounin replied, his one visible eye curved upwards as he smiled. " I left Sakura-kun crouching under a bush near the memorial." Kakashi looked out the window, his smile growing even more noticeable. "I hope this rain doesn't last much longer."

"Oh, Kakashi-sensei... You are so devoted to your team that you don't want them to suffer needlessly! You are truly worthy of being my Eternal Rival!"

Iruka, pretty certain that the copy-ninja had been sarcastic, rolled his eyes. "Are you going to let those three keep following you around?"

Kakashi folded his arms and stared at the chuunin sitting in front of him. _Perhaps this does call for more drastic measures..._ "Iruka-sensei," he began, sounding utterly delighted with himself.

It was as if someone had flipped a switch, and Iruka felt himself mildly disconcerted with the jounin's sudden change in attitude. "Yes, Kakashi-san?" he replied hesitantly.

"I wonder if you would be willing to help me... convince Sasuke-kun to give up?" Kakashi continued, still smiling happily.

The young teacher was dumbfounded by the request, and consequently stumbled through his reply. "Me? Why don't you...I mean, surely you could talk to him...you don't need _my _help..."

A dazzling sparkle caught the attention of both men, as Gai smiled brilliantly. "Kakashi-sensei! I would be very happy to lecture your young protege on the appropriate time and place for a shinobi to practice spying techniques!" He finished smartly with an enthusiastic thumbs up.

"Ah...thank you...for the offer," Kakashi said cautiously, quite afraid of inciting another outburst. "But I don't intend to talk with him at all. If I let him know that I'm onto him, he'll just want to practice sneaking around more until it gets harder and harder to detect him. The goal is to make him not want to follow me anymore." He looked pointedly at the chuunin teacher. "I think that, with Iruka-sensei's past reputation as a prankster, he would be more suited to this mission."

_So that's what he's after..._ Iruka flushed a light pink, feeling an odd sense of pride that _the_ Sharingan Kakashi wanted his particular skills. Even if it was just for a prank. The chuunin pretended to think it over, but was actually using the time to school his features into a more disinterested expression. "I suppose I could help you this one time, Kakashi-san."

The copy-ninja, who hadn't been fooled in the slightest by Iruka's hesitation, found himself extremely pleased by this turn of events. "Good! I'll give you the details on the way." He waited as the chuunin handed Gai the last scroll left on the table, before packing up his things and preparing to shut down the mission room. The three men walked out together and Iruka locked the door behind them. He turned and found himself being stared at again by Kakashi. _Uh-oh. He has a funny look on his face._

The jounin waited until Gai had finished bidding them both goodnight before he flashed a wolfish grin at the young teacher. Iruka couldn't see it properly, but he knew it was there nonetheless. "Don't worry, sensei. Unless Sasuke-kun wants to admit he was stalking me, he won't tell anyone about what he sees. Probably."

Somehow, Iruka was less than reassured.

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Inside the small apartment, Sasuke silently debated which hiding place would give him the best vantage point. The furnishings were sparse, and left him with few options. The narrow space under the bed was out of the question. He wouldn't be able to see anything above his teacher's knees. The large closet with the sliding doors would be far more likely to get him a view of Kakashi-sensei's face, but the contents included clothes and towels, which meant he would likely be discovered if he hid there. The cupboard above that looked far more promising. It was much smaller, but looked like it was only being used for storage.

Sasuke pushed open the door and hoisted himself up. He managed to squeeze between a few of the boxes which allowed him to peek through the small crack he left in the door. _Perfect_, he thought. This gave him a clear view of the front door, the bathroom, and the tiny kitchen. Satisfied that his jounin teacher would not be able to detect any forced entry, he focused on hiding his chakra signature as he settled in to wait.

It was over an hour before Sasuke heard a lock tumble and saw the overhead light flicker on. Sounds of laughter floated into the apartment, and the young genin frowned when he picked out two distinct voices. _Who the hell does he have with him? _Sasuke thought angrily. _He won't take off that damn mask if there's someone else here. Unless..._

"I never expected you to buy me a drink. It would seem that you're full of surprises tonight." Sasuke easily recognized the voice of his team leader, and was soon rewarded with a glimpse of shocking silver hair.

_There's no way...He's on a date?!_ Sasuke strained to see the other figure, but the tall, broad-shouldered jounin was blocking his view. He heard Kakashi-sensei's date laugh again, and he struggled to place the voice.

"You looked like you could use some company."

Sasuke relaxed when he heard his former academy teacher speak. _Not a date, thank god. That could have gotten awkward really fast. Iruka-sensei probably just wanted to ask about Naruto._

"It's too bad tonight is a school night. I'd have liked to stay longer." Both figures were now visible to Sasuke, and as Iruka-sensei spoke, the genin noticed a slight tinge appear on the man's cheeks. _He's blushing? This is bad..._

"Friday then," Kakashi-sensei said, dragging Sasuke's attention back to the jounin. "We've got training on Saturday, but my team won't mind if I'm...a few hours late..." the man continued, practically purring.

_Ohmygod. Ohmygod. Ohmygod. There's no way this is happening._ Sasuke activated his sharingan, hoping that this was some kind of illusion. He saw Kakashi-sensei move closer to his former teacher, until the shorter man had his back flat against the door._ Crap,_ he thought, letting his eyes fade back to normal. _Definitely not genjutsu. _Sasuke found himself horrified, but completely unable to look away.

His eyes never strayed from the two men, as he saw Iruka-sensei's hands move upwards slowly. "I'll hold you to that, Kakashi-san. Until Friday," the chuunin said, as both hands came to rest on either side of Kakashi-sensei's face.

Sasuke watched as the hands began to slide back down, taking the stretchy blue fabric with them. From the angle of Kakashi-sensei's head, the genin was rewarded with an unobstructed view of the jounin's right ear.

Iruka-sensei's eyes widened and his breath hitched as Sasuke looked on with a scowl. His team leader's head tilted as he closed the gap between himself and the man he had trapped against the door. The spying genin continued to watch dispassionately, never being able to see more than that damned ear.

The kiss finally ended, having lasted far too long for Sasuke, and, apparently, having been over far too quickly for Iruka-sensei. Still, the chuunin looked quite pleased, as he pulled the mask back up to once more cover the jounin's face.

_No! After all that, I didn't see anything!_ Sasuke watched his former teacher give Kakashi-sensei one last, appraising look, before opening the door and slipping out of the apartment. The jounin threw the deadbolt and turned to lean back against the door, arms folded. He glanced down and hummed thoughtfully to himself. "I think a cold shower is in order."

Sasuke blanched, trying very hard not to think about that last comment. Kakashi-sensei walked towards the closet, and the genin held his breath, forcing himself to remain perfectly still. The silver-haired man grabbed a towel and sleeping clothes, carrying them into the bathroom with him. Sasuke fought the urge to bolt from the apartment while his team leader was out of the room, but he reminded himself that he still had one more chance. He sighed, resigned, as he settled in to wait out the rest of the night.

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Iruka walked back to his own apartment, unable to keep the grin from his face as he thought about his encounter with the silver-haired ninja.

_I'll hold you to that, Kakashi-san._

That line hadn't been in the script, and Iruka recalled the jounin's shocked expression. The kiss was also not quite what they had planned. It was supposed to have been short and sweet, but the chuunin had been very reluctant to pull away.

Iruka hummed tunelessly to himself as he continued down the street.

Friday couldn't come soon enough.

'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'-'

Sasuke staggered down the street to the tea shop, muscles stiff from the cramped quarters and body exhausted from the lack of sleep.

_I can't believe he wears that thing to bed..._

As he approached his two teammates, Sasuke saw them both look up expectantly. They'd been certain that if anyone would be able to succeed, it would be the Uchiha boy. The question was written all over their faces.

Sasuke scowled. "Of course I didn't see it."

There was an obvious moment of disappointment before Naruto tried to cheer them back up. "That's okay...small setback. I'll try again this weekend."

Sasuke cringed inwardly as he imagined Naruto seeing his beloved teacher doing...things...with their pervert of a team leader. He sighed and folded his arms, and his tone of voice left no room for argument.

"We're not tailing him anymore."

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End file.
